Honestly

I don’t know why my body reacts to stress with insomnia.  I think my poor eating habits of late have only worsened it.  And my dislike of this state of being leads me to vicarious living through fictional character via shows and movies.  It is a complete, though temporary, mental escape for me; I am completely absorbed into the characters and story.  This is what I did during my inability to sleep.

It seems like I cannot do anything right.  Everyday I neglect the things that I am supposed to be doing, and do the things I ought not.  I need to throw myself upon the grace of God, for in reality, He is all I have.  I am tried of lying to people, trying to seek their approval.  I have not been looking as hard as I ought for a job; I am horribly lazy; I have no self control; I keep biting the bait, and am very often ensnared by the enemy.  Christ is my only hope.  I pray that God will destroy my idols, tear them from my hands.  I want God to do what ever it takes for me to be more Christ-like, even if it costs me everything.